Me and My Girls

Music has always been a great medium for me to express myself.  When I need some motivation to get the house cleaned, my marching band CD’s will always do the trick.  Anytime I need a kick in the pants, I can blast a number of my Broadway soundtracks like Nunsense, Chicago, or Pippin. When I am in a reflective mood, the Celtic Women are my go-to girls.   And who can stay seated on the couch like a potato when the soundtrack from Footloose is playing? (As a side note, I just recently discovered 2 new artists who fit the bill for almost all of these moods, and they are absolutely amazing!  Check out their website, and then go download their music…you will NOT regret it!)

Now that dear, sweet Emma has arrived, I find myself digging deep into my repertoire to soothe her when she is fussy, entertain her while changing a diaper, or help her get to sleep.  I must say I have an impressive collection of silly songs; some with goofy voices, wild hand motions, and embarrassing dance moves.  And of course I do sing a few of your standard lullabies, but more often than not I tend to sing Broadway tunes, 80’s hits, country, or patriotic songs.  One of Emma’s favorite lullabies is Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors”, and one night as I was singing it to her for the 3^rd time, I wondered what drew me to certain songs I choose to sing to her.

“You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged, oh I realize it’s hard to take courage…”

And of course…

“I see your true colors, shining through.
I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you.
So don’t be afraid, to let them show your true colors…
Are beautiful, like a rainbow.”

Pretty great lyrics to sing to a child, don’t you think?  And much better than some old song about a rickety cradle crashing out of a tree, right?

This prompted me to create a new playlist on iTunes titled “My Girls”, filled with songs that I think have good messages for both Morgan and Emma.  We listen to the songs frequently, and with the exception of an animated version of “Skinamarinky-Dinky-Dink” and a goofy (some say downright gross) song I sing about a diaper change, these are the lullabies I now choose to sing to Emma.

Here are just a few of our favorites this week.

True Colors

America the Beautiful
We live in the best country in the world, and I want my children to know how much we love her.  Besides, Morgan says this is the perfect song for Emma, saying “Spacious Skies is for her blue eyes, and Amber Waves of grain is for her beautiful red hair”!

Crazy Dreams
First heard this on my new favorite drama, Smash, but I just love the message.  Go after your dreams, even when they are crazy…and don’t let rejection make you give up. Besides, Carrie Underwood really is a good role model for girls these days…and they are getting harder to come by.

It’s Your Love
This is one of the songs that my husband and I fell in love to.  We used to drive around (way back in the day when gas was less than a dollar a gallon) and sing songs at the top of our lungs.  This was one of our favorites.  Don’t let him tell you otherwise, my husband has a wonderful voice…I am just the lucky one that gets to hear it.

Defying Gravity
We love the version from the Glee soundtrack, but I am itching to see the musical “Wicked”!  Again, another great message…and Morgan loves singing this song.

Corner of the Sky
This is an oldie, but goodie, from the musical Pippin.  I fell in love with this song when I was in a stage production of Pippin in college.  I played Fastrada, an alcoholic woman in her 40’s who has an incestuous relationship with her son, and plots to kill her step son.  Nice woman…and super fun to play.  I had a dance number in which I wore a leotard and fishnet stockings.  There is a video of this number…I am just waiting for it to surface on You Tube one day.

What are some songs you love to sing to your children?  I am always looking for new music to add to our playlist.

Many Kind Regards,
Erin

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Wow! Sometimes that is just the very best word to describe life, and my life over the past few weeks certainly qualifies. If you are my friend on Facebook, you know that we welcomed Baby Emma into the world on March 15th. She weighed in at 6 pounds, 12 ounces and was 19 inches long. She is absolutely perfect, we are over-the-moon in love with her, and she has completed our family in a way we never knew was in need until we laid eyes on her. Morgan is an excellent big sister and is so happy to have a little sister. Apparently, getting an IUD turned out to be the very best thing we ever did for our first born child.

I am having some difficulty getting pictures to download onto this blog on my iPad, but I promise to post some pictures soon. Warning!!! If you don’t like pictures of simply adorable babies, (in other words if you have no soul), you might want to avoid this blog for a while. I can’t help it. I will not apologize for being the parent that takes a picture of every outfit my baby puts on. And she has a pretty snazzy wardrobe, so watch out folks!

Delivery day went smoothly, despite my incredible angst and anxiety about the whole thing. I can’t really even tell you why I was so terrified, but I really was. After 8 surgeries, you might think I wouldn’t be nervous about a surgery where I wasn’t even going to be put under, but I was honestly a wreck. The pregnancy had been so hard, and despite the fact that we were 100% ready to meet Emma, I was still apprehensive about starting over as a new Mom. Would I figure it out? What if I totally forgot how to do the basic things? Would I bond with Emma? Would she be healthy? Would I be able to breastfeed? And that was just the tip of the worry iceberg.

But, of course, the minute I got to hold her in my arms, that all disappeared. I was in love immediately. It was if she had been a part of our family for an eternity, and was just now showing up to the party. Now, I can not imagine life without her.

And at first, it seemed I would recover well from the c-section. I was able to get up just as soon as they allowed it, and I did great! But as my hospital stay continued, problems arose with my hips and pelvis, and to make a long story short, I ended up staying an extra day and now have a really cool walker to add to my collection of medical equipment at the house. But it was not the end of the world, just another little speed bump. I am pretty damn good at maneuvering speed bumps now, and they don’t keep my spirits down for too long anymore. My arthritis suffered because of the pregnancy, my joints will need some help getting back into shape, but I am ready to tackle that new challenge.

What I was not ready for was having to be away from my perfect newborn and family while I fought a post-surgical infection in an out-of-town hospital. I have now been here since Sunday (4 days) and there is a chance I will get to go home tomorrow, but it is looking like Friday as a real possibility for going home. The first night, Joey and Emma stayed with me, but when we realized this was going to be more than an over-night observation, we knew he had to get home. Morgan needed to be taken care of, Emma had a doctors appointment, and lets face it, the hospital is not a great environment for a newborn. So on Monday, Daddy packed up the baby and took her home. I was devastated and heart broken. It is just wrong for a new baby and it’s mother to be separated. I immediately felt a sadness for every mother who ever had to watch her newborn from the outside of an incubator. Not being able to hold your baby causes a physical ache that you can not shake off. Today, my husband was able to bring her up for a visit and spent 4-5 hours with me. It was not enough time, but better than nothing. No matter what, we have planned for me to see her Friday, and I can hardly stand it…only 36 hours until I can snuggle with her again.

Joey and Morgan have been great during this entire ordeal, although I must say I am most impressed with my husband. It’s not that I ever doubted his ability to be a single parent, but in our world, that is a role that I am used to tackling. And it is a mothers instinct to think that, of course, we are the ones who know how to care for the babies best. I am sure that he is not doing everything the way I would, but both girls are being cared for wonderfully. Dad has tackled everything including a well-baby appointment, switching formula mixing for more calories, laundry, homework…the whole shebang. When Morgan was just 2 weeks old, he had to leave for training, so he is truly doing a lot of this for the first time. He has done great, and despite the fact that I have been missing out, I think it is amazing that the girls are getting this much time with a Dad who has spent the past 10 years gone frequently.

We also have some amazing friends out here who have brought meals for Joey, taken care of the dogs, watched Morgan, snuggled with Emma (a tough job, indeed), or brought me goodies at the hospital. Just further proof that our military spouse community is amazing. We have not lived here a year, and have an incredible support system. We would be completely lost without them. And despite the fact that they just got home from their visit out here, Joey’s parents are making the long drive from AL to come out here and be an extra set of loving hands. They will be here tomorrow. We are beyond blessed.

This entire experience has had me thinking about my goals in life. There haven’t been any huge changes, but I have a different fire about some things. I have never been more motivated to take control of my health. It will take some time, and several specialists, but I am determined to do whatever needed to be able to enjoy my incredible family. And there are things I am ready to tackle and accomplish on a personal and professional level. I am not quite ready to share them yet, but you all know I am an open book…I will gladly bring you all along on the journey with me.

Snuggle those babies a little tighter tonight, on my behalf, before they drift off to sleep. In the meantime I will be doing all I can to get out of this darn hospital and back to my crazy life. It is too short, too precious, and I am ready to be totally immersed in it once again.

Many Kind Regards,
Erin

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So, it’s Valentine’s Day, or as my friend, fellow military spouse, and blogger said in her post today…it is Tuesday. (You can read the whole thing here. She’s a great writer….but don’t leave me just yet, you can come back and click on her in a few.)  My husband and I gave up on the whole Valentine’s Day thing a couple of years ago (“Don’t buy me ANYTHING for Valentine’s Day“).  Apparently after knowing each other almost half of our lives, we still really stink at buying each other gifts.  And after spending the better part of my college years as a waitress, the very last place you will find me on this Holiday of Love is a restaurant.  Besides, at 34 weeks pregnant, my idea of the perfect romantic gesture is my husband using the tennis ball to massage my sciatic nerve.  And as I told you in a post last week, he already bought me a gift better than a diamond ring…a Gopher. One of the things my husband really loves about me is that I am cheap and easy…and no that is not an insult around here.  So Morgan will receive her annual box of chocolates, we will eat dinner at home, and if I am really lucky my husband will whip out the tennis ball. *swoon*

But just because I could care less about this manufactured holiday, doesn’t mean that I am not in some way moved by all the romance and glitter around every corner.  This year the mix of red candy hearts, jewelry commercials, and pregnancy hormones have caused me to reflect on why I am still very much in love with my husband, after 12 years.  Bless his heart, he has been more than patient with me as of late.  Every minute of every day seems to be consumed with concern over my pregnancy, or me whining about my enormous belly and all the aches and pains.  I keep telling him that one day he will have his wife back…but he seems a bit skeptical.  So today I thought I would give him the gift of bragging on him in the blog-o-sphere by sharing with you,

The Top 5 Reasons I am Still Happily Married to My Husband

5) He is far from perfect…thank God!  Wow, I really know how to brag on my man don’t I?  But seriously, I cannot imagine being married to Mr. Perfect (or someone who thinks he is) and having to live with that kind of pressure on a daily basis.  Mrs. Perfect is not a title you will ever catch my husband calling me either, and this is fine with me.  Housekeeping is something I fail at on a regular basis, my cooking skills will not ever win me an award, I talk entirely too much, and can be pretty bossy at times.  My husband knows all of this about me, and still loves me.  That’s pretty awesome.  And I love him despite all his many flaws, which I will not be divulging here.  For all my inadequacies, I don’t intend on adding “airing my husband’s dirty skivvies” to the list.  I have too much respect for him to tell the entire internet that I still can’t get him to put the toilet seat back down.  Oops.

4) He would do anything, for anyone, at anytime.  If you need something moved, something fixed, or a ride to the airport…my husband is probably the one to call.  This on occasion will drive me insane because it means that he is not here to do something for MEEE.  Yes, being selfish with my husband is another one of my stellar qualities. But if I am being honest, I really love this quality about him.  You can depend on him to do something if he said he will.  He is always on time, loyal to a fault, and has a great work ethic.  He is, honestly, one of the good guys. 

3) His service to our country.  I know it may seem obvious and cliché for me to talk about this, but it is the truth.  I am incredibly proud of his career as a United States Marine.  He has served his country honorably and is good at what he does. When he got out of the Marine Corps after his first enlistment and returned to civilian life, he was miserable.  Why?  Because he said that it seemed like he was no longer doing anything important.  He had done something with meaning for 4 years, and working a “regular” job seemed empty to him.  The 12 years that followed his re-enlistment have been challenging, no question.  But he has been where he belonged for those years.  He probably doesn’t know this, but I have chosen to spend a great deal of my prime career years in service of others because of the example he has set.  It hasn’t made us rich, but it has made me a better, happier person.

2) He is a wonderful Father.  And really, is there anything in this world more attractive on a man than being a good Dad?  Not in my book.  I was recently telling him about a Dr. Phil episode featuring teenage girls who were pregnant and had very troubled relationships with their mothers.  At one point in the conversation he said, “And let me guess…there are no fathers in these girls’ lives, right?”  Morgan is a lucky girl.  Her Dad adores her, is actively involved in her life, and would do anything for her.  And as long as it took both of us to adjust to the concept of being parents again, I can already see that twinkle in his eye when he talks about being ready for Emma to get here.  Just like Morgan, he will be smitten with her immediately.  He still would rather gouge his eyes out than have a conversation about menstruation, but despite all the wishes for a boy…he is simply crazy about his girls.

1)  We have almost nothing in common…except the really important stuff.  Some friends of mine have been planning an outdoor retreat that involves 3-4 days of hiking and camping in the wilderness this summer.  They want me to join them.  They are, of course, asking in vain because they know me.  For years and years my husband would beg me to go on camping trips.  I did go on a few with his family, with the understanding that the only reason I was attending was because of the presence of a camper and nice bath house.  This chic does not do outdoors.  My husband loves it.  He adores fishing and being on a boat for hours.  I enjoy being in a boat for 30 minutes…but the minute I have to tinkle I am not longer excited.  After one unfortunate incident involving peeing in the woods and getting chiggers in alllll the right places, I do not potty outdoors.  My idea of a fun evening would be seeing a Broadway play, or the Symphony, or a Marching Band Concert.  My husband would rather have a talk about menstruation with our daughter.  Our tastes in music are vastly different, we can rarely agree on a TV show to watch, and we almost never have the same sense of humor.  But we are in 100% agreement about some really important stuff.

We decided a long time ago, that I should stay at home instead of work full-time.  We wanted to give Morgan (and now Emma) the gift of time with one parent, since we knew that Dad would be gone because of his job frequently.  It has been the right choice for our family.  I have worked part-time off and on throughout the years, and yes Morgan was in preschool and had babysitters because Mom needed to have volunteer work, etc. in her life to balance things out.  I am very thankful that I have been able to do this, and love my husband for being on the same page about this.  I do anticipate working on a more full-time basis after Emma is born, but we are now in a position where I can work from home and hire in-home care.  For our family, this is the perfect fit.

Because we decided to rely mostly on my husband’s income for all of these years, we had to be on the same page where money was concerned.  Sure, we have had our fights about finances over the years, but our basic philosophy is the same.  Neither one of us is interested in always having the newest electronics.  Used cars are fine with us, and we don’t mind driving them until they have 200,000 miles on them as long as they are safe.  Used furniture, clothing, and other items are perfectly acceptable as long as they are clean.  When we dream about our perfect home, the top things on our list are a spacious backyard, swimming pool, 4 bedrooms, and a good school district.  As we have both gotten older, we have become even more frugal and content with not having the latest and greatest things.  We choose to spend our extra money on travel because experiences and time spent are more important to us than having a new car every 2 years.

And lastly, we agree on how to parent our child, 90% of the time.  For as long as he has known me, Joey has known that I am adamantly opposed to allowing our child to ride on, be around, or use ATV’s…ever.  He does not agree, because he grew up around them.  But even though sometimes we have gotten into arguments about this subject, I know that at the end of the day he respects me enough to let me have this issue.  But 90% of the time we are in agreement on some very basic parenting values.  Children should not be given everything.  They should be expected to help out around the house.  Bullying other people, being disrespectful to adults, and acting like the world revolves around you…are behaviors that will not be tolerated. 

Current divorce rates in our country are around 50% these days…and that makes me sad.  We live in a culture where I believe so many people just give up on their marriages because the romance is gone, or they have “grown apart”, or things have gotten hard.  Maybe that’s why I really just don’t like Valentine’s Day.  I think it perpetuates this notion that true-love is about big gestures, gifts and romance.  It just isn’t the case.  True-love is being committed to someone who on occasion drives you insane and who is committed to you despite the fact that you can’t cook to save your soul.  It is about finding some common ground that really matters, and letting go of the stuff that really is not important.  It’s about finding the good qualities in your partner, really respecting those things, and letting go of any thoughts that you need to change the imperfections. And it’s about realizing that the grass is only greener on the other side for the first 15 minutes…then the weeds start popping up over there as well. 

Happy Valentine’s Day to my handsome, flawed, amazing, and imperfect husband.  I love you.

Many Kind Regards,

Erin

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Last night there was a virtual explosion on Facebook in the military spouse community.  It was sparked by one blog post, written by a relatively new spouse, whose husband is a recruiter in Vermont.  The post has since been altered, and comments from her husband have been removed.  I see no need to now link to her blog.  If you want to read the entire post, there are plenty of copies floating around the internet; it should not be hard to track down. The basic view expressed in the post was that National Guard spouses are not real “Army Wives” because their spouses are not “Real Soldiers”. In addition, she had very disparaging things to say about Vermont National Guard Spouses.  Her husband then came to her defense and even elaborated on their view that somehow Active Duty Army are superior to fellow Army National Guardsmen.  People in our community were very upset, and the anger blew up in a big way on facebook.

For many military spouses, facebook is a very important part of our lives…and yes, I realize how ridiculous that statement might seem on the surface.  But the nature of military life means that we are constantly saying goodbye to not only family, but friends within our community who at times become closer than blood relatives.  We depend on each other because no matter how much anyone else tries to understand or empathize, no one but a fellow military spouse can truly comprehend our unique lifestyle.  Facebook has allowed many of us to continue feeling connected with loved ones across the world.  Our community is small (the original 1%), and social media makes us feel like we are not so alone after all.

For the most part, facebook can be a positive force in our lives.  Even when we are in a heated debate with someone, we are reminded that our community is very diverse and lots of different opinions are a good thing.  Sometimes facebook causes conflict, but most of the spouses I know choose to disengage when the Drama Llama rears her ugly head.  On occasion it has the potential to get people fired up over something they are deeply passionate about…and when that happens, it tends to spread like wildfire.  Last night, when that blog post went viral, it truly awoke a sleeping giant.  And that giant, was to be frank, pretty pissed off.

I include myself in the group of people who were highly offended and upset by her words.  I found the entire post to be disrespectful of not only spouses, but the Soldiers of whom she spoke.  As many of you know, I am a deeply passionate person and while I believe that we should choose our battles carefully, when we warrant one to be worthy, we should stand up for what we think is right and just.  My gut reaction last night was a desire to fly out to Vermont, and slap some sense in to this girl.  After the benefit of some sleep and perspective, my reaction has changed a bit…although I still disagree with every word she wrote.  Today, I am asking myself WHY we were all so upset by the words of such an inexperienced, previously non-influential spouse.  And I am also wondering how we can all use this as a learning tool.

First of all, what made us all have such a visceral reaction?  I truly believe that while her words were incredibly stupid, mean-spirited, and uneducated…bless her heart, she really had no idea what kind of response her words would receive.  As a whole I have found the military spouse community to be fiercely protective of service members.  Being married to her Soldier for less than a year, and having little exposure to the community as a whole, she most likely did not realize this.  But when anyone makes disparaging remarks about the men and women who serve, military spouses are usually the first to jump to their defense.  Why?  Because we are witness to the sacrifices these men and women make on a daily basis.  Our experience is not limited to what is reported on the news, You Tube videos of homecomings, or pictures of heroes in uniform.  We understand that a deployment does not begin and end on the date they leave or return home.  Many of us share the commissary with Wounded Warriors who have lost limbs.  We know spouses who have had to receive that folded flag on the day their service member was laid to rest.  And we have little tolerance for anyone who dares to question the validity of their sacrifice.

So it should come as no surprise that the post incited such fury within the silent ranks.  And while it is true that she is young, new to this life, and very pregnant…we all know other spouses who meet this same criteria, but somehow have figured out that there is a line you simply do not cross.  Every single military spouse has had a day where we are infuriated at the military.  We have days when we want to strangle our next-door neighbor on base.  But the majority of us have enough respect for spouses and the military as a whole.  We are simply not going to rant about that in a blog.   

But the main reason I believe we got so riled up about this is that it is indicative of a larger problem within the military community.  There is a growing irritation at any attempt to compare and contrast the roles of service members of different ranks, with different jobs, and from different branches.  When you have been around this life long enough you know that comparing (for instance) Soldiers and Marines, is not simply comparing apples and oranges…it’s like comparing apples and bacon.  They are different.  They operate differently.  They sometimes seem to speak an entirely different language.  They dress differently.  They PT differently.  But despite what they may banter about among themselves…neither of them are superior to the other. 

Within the silent ranks though…comparisons are not usually just simple banter.  Many times they are bitter, spiteful, and cause a ton of hurt.  The fact is that you may have the hardest job (as a spouse) of any other military spouse within 100 miles during this deployment or duty station.  You may be handling things that would weaken the knees of the most strong, seasoned spouse on the planet.  Your husband or wife might be in more danger, with a more stressful job, than anyone you know.  Fast-forward to the next deployment, and it might be a cakewalk.  Or you all PCS and end up at a duty station where there is little stress and no chance they will spend more than a duty night away from home.  Now, your next door neighbor is getting the award for surviving the toughest deployment on the block, instead of you.  If you are a part of this community for any length of time you will realize that we all have highs and lows.  It is pointless to compare your situation to anyone else, period.

What you also realize is that the military is truly one of those machines that only work when all of the parts are utilized.  The most insignificant bolt can fall out of place, and the entire operation comes to a screeching halt.  Force Recon may not be as effective in their job without the support of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles.  An Infantry Division will be pretty worthless without those guys in supply who make sure they have ammunition, food, and water.  And at the end of the day, during a time of war, an IED doesn’t really care if you are an Officer or Enlisted…it will blow off your legs just the same.  The enemy is just as proud when they kill an Active Duty Sailor, as they are when they take the life of a Marine Reservist.  A childhood friend of mine posted a comment on facebook today.  Her husband is National Guard, and she commented that when he returned from the last deployment to Iraq, they had lost a fellow Guardsman in combat.  This one sentence summed it all up for me when she said, “He is not dead one weekend a month”.

That puts it into perspective, a perspective that this young spouse does not yet have.  And while I am not excusing or defending her words (that is something that only she can choose to do), I am going to ask that we, as a community, show this spouse what a supportive and incredible community she has become a part of.  Because whether we like it or not, she is now in our boat.  She may not want to admit she is in our boat.  She may not be ready to let us help her navigate to shore.  But one day, she will probably realize that she was misguided.  I can only imagine that she (at some point) will be very embarrassed for the uproar she caused.  According to facebook, her husband’s command has now been informed, and seem to be pretty unhappy about the whole ordeal.  Being a recruiters spouse is not an easy task.  Raising a new baby when your husband works 16 hour days is not an easy task.  Eventually when they make a PCS move, there will be other obstacles that she will face.  She is going to need some support.  Ladies and Gentlemen, that support can, and should come from us if and when she is ready to embrace it.

I can hear the collective groans as you finish that paragraph.  I can feel the heat steaming out of your ears.  I totally get it.  But let’s take a look at the lessons learned first before we get even more upset. First of all, we were all young and dumb at some point in our lives.  Every. Single. One. Of. Us.  Raise your hand if you are thankful that cell phones, You Tube, and social media did not exist when you were in your teens and 20’s?  Dear heaven, most of us would still be trying to regain our reputations.  That being said, the lesson learned here is simple: If you would not say it to someone’s face…never, EVER post it online or on facebook.  I have a feeling it is sometime we are all guilty of from time to time, so it is a good reminder.

Secondly, it is almost always a good idea to use our ears more than our mouths…and to pause before we speak.  Sometimes those pauses need to be small (biting your tongue one extra second to diffuse an argument), and sometimes those pauses should be longer…like months, or years.  This young spouse used her mouth (or her words rather) before she had a chance to really pause and assess the new lifestyle she found herself in when she said “I Do”.  If she had done more listening, she may have heard what those National Guard Spouses go through.  She might have learned that they have very real and important struggles and that their spouses serve just as honorably as her spouse.  To put it simply, she spoke too soon, and we can all learn from that.  Words matter.  It never hurts to re-read them and take some time before spewing them for the entire world to see.

And finally, last night reminded us that our military spouse community is, in my opinion an incredible group of people.  I have read criticism within our community of spouses who were angry last night.  Some people feel like the blogger was being unfairly attacked and that those of us who commented were just as bad.  Did things get heated? Yep.  Were things said in anger that may have been a little over the top? Sure.  At the core of those feelings and frustrations was a need to defend our family…our military family.  But we have now made it very clear that we do not approve of what she said.  She has been harshly criticized, and is certainly not going to have a great weekend as a result.  If she doesn’t get that what she did was offensive, then, well, no amount of yelling on our part will make a difference at this point.  What we, as a community, can now put out there in the world of social media, is a message of unity.  We can use this entire situation to let our fellow spouses know that we have their backs…no matter what uniform gets thrown into their washing machine, what pay grade makes a direct deposit into their account, or how long they have to worry about their spouse being at war.

We can, in effect stir up a different pot…one that will contain something yummy we can all sit around the table enjoying together…instead of exploding all over our facebook walls.

Many Kind Regards,

Erin

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It may sound pretty hip and cool to say “God is a Woman!”, but any female who has ever had the pleasure of donning a sexy, backless robe while being told to “Scooch on down all the way to the edge, and just try to relax” while her feet are hoisted into stirrups and a doctor examines her with what could pass for medieval torture devices…knows in her heart of hearts that this simply cannot be true.  The ultimate proof that God is in fact a man however, would be in analyzing the blessed miracle of pregnancy and childbirth.  Look.  I know what the Bible says about Eve eating the forbidden fruit and all, but to quote my dear husband, I am gonna have to call “Shenanigans!” on that one.  A more likely story is that after realizing what bringing a child into this world would entail, He said, “Oh, dear.  That sounds really terrible but I just can’t figure out another way to make it happen.  I can’t do that to my man Adam.  But I have to do something to make it fair.” And in true man fashion he thought that having to take out the trash on a weekly basis and turning their head to cough once a year should do the trick.

And so, pregnancy and childbirth were invented…and let me tell you, I think the entire process is simply ridiculous.  I have received pretty harsh criticism for saying this, and I get it.  There are women who covet pregnancy, birth and motherhood their entire adult lives.  They would be amazing mothers.  They try so hard, spend their entire life savings, go through brutal medical procedures…to no avail.  Meanwhile I am over here with a perfectly implanted IUD and one wheezing, wheelchair bound egg…now pregnant as can be.  Life sometimes is so unfair it is hard to wrap your mind around it.  I cannot imagine how heart-wrenching it must be to want a child so badly and not be able to produce your very own baby.  My heart goes out to those women, and I hope each and every one of them get what they want some day.  We are now very excited to be meeting our little surprise next month, and consider this “oopsie” to be a blessing.  It does not however change the fact that pregnancy, in all its glory, is a ridiculous proposition.

Thankfully, it is only a 10 month proposition, which is why I believe so many women agree to this whole child-bearing thing in the first place.  That and having to pass by all those cute baby clothes every time we want to shop for shoes at Target.  But I digress.

Let’s just look at it from a clinical perspective.  A few innocent eggs are just hanging out up there, gossiping with their ever dwindling community of sister eggs. Then, before you know it they are bombarded by a multitude of aggressive swimmer types and wham, bam, thank you ma’am…the miracle of conception has occurred. (Well yes, I am aware there is a little bit more to it than that, but this is my blog…not Wikipedia.  I am assuming that if you are reading this, you had health class in 6^th grade and know the rest of the miraculous details by now.)

And for the first few weeks, all is well within the mother’s body.  Nature is doing its thing in there, multiplying cells quietly, nothing to see here folks.  And then the body wakes up one day and says “Whoa, wait! We are creating a human life in there? We have to be prepared!” and all hell breaks loose. Shortly thereafter Mom is hugging the toilet because she dared to brush her teeth, wondering why in world she is falling asleep during her 4^th cup of coffee, and contemplating whether having breasts are really worth the feeling of hot burning lava in your bra all day.

That hot burning lava is what did it for me.  I knew I was either pregnant, or my boobs were about to erupt.  I must admit I was a bigger fan of a volcanic eruption.  Pregnancy was not only a really bad idea for me medically, but it was just simply not in the plan.  We had decided years before that we were “one and done”, and at 36 years old, with a child who was just starting 5^th grade, babies were not on our radar.  When I peed on that stick, those lines appeared within milliseconds, I am telling ya.  Good thing I was sitting down.

I sobbed…violently. I told my husband who looked like he might vomit…violently.  Then I sobbed some more.  This sobbing took place off and on, between episodes of delirium and disbelief, for several days.

At some point, reality set in and the sobbing died down.  It was quickly replaced by constant nausea that was triggered by things like the smell of coffee, any attempt to eat chicken, or simply the fact that it was 2:30 on a Thursday afternoon.  I was exhausted every single minute of every single day.  I had to pee every two minutes.  And at week 8 I started to get terrible congestion.  After researching, apparently a woman’s body, in an attempt to prepare for a more comfortable delivery, increases it’s “moisture” in the body.  So essentially your nose produces more snot and because you are pregnant there is a whole lot of nothing any pharmacy can offer you. (I officially apologize for using the word snot, but really…we have already talked about peeing on a stick and burning boobs, so I think we have already crossed a line…don’t you?)

Now, back to science, are we really going to still argue that pregnancy is not, in some fashion just plain ridiculous? First of all, this baby (who in the first trimester is roughly the size of an olive) can cause all this havoc on a grown woman…but for all the wonders that her body can produce, it cannot, apparently, tell the difference between lubricating her sinuses and her cervix.  Ridiculous.

Because apparently God knew that after that first trimester women needed a break before the big event, He invented the second trimester where, for most women, things calm down considerably.  Yes, your belly is growing, but it’s still cute.  You can probably hold down more than a saltine cracker, and you have the energy to start preparing that nursery and getting excited about all those little baby clothes.

The calm before the storm.

Third trimester.  Baby is now truly a force to be reckoned with as he/she starts really exploring and growing (translation: wedging their feet underneath your rib cage), and starts literally sucking the life right out of Mommy.  Currently in my third trimester, I frequently spend time wandering from room to room, wondering what in the hell I was just supposed to do.  My husband has had to learn how to translate for me.  I asked him not long ago “Hey, honey…can you put the stuff in that thingy in that room”?  Translation: Could he please refill the water in the humidifier in our bedroom.  Bless his heart; he got it on the first try.  I lose entire words from sentences. I can’t remember where I put anything.  Right now, I am trying to remember how in the world to end this paragraph.

And I am slow.  No kidding, if there is a fire in this house my husband will have to make sure our child and pets get out safely, then rush back inside and fireman carry his linebacker-sized wife out to the front lawn before I am engulfed in flames.  Cause there will be no stopping, dropping and rolling.  By the time I got myself onto the grass, and then figured out how to actually roll…I would be toast. Hoisting myself up into his truck, getting in and out of bed, or attempting to shave my legs have all become comical tasks at this point.  I waddle wherever I go now, and have started leaving things on the floor if I drop them because I simply cannot bend at the waist.  My husband changed my life today when he came home with a surprise more valuable to me than all the diamonds in the world.  The man bought me a Gopher…one of those things that extends your reach by 3 feet and has a little claw at the end.  Dang, I love that man.

Some women have this amazing glow during pregnancy and they relish every single moment.  If you were sleeping through the first part of this piece, I will tell you that I am not one of them.  The only glow I have is from the acne medication I have to apply, or the hot flashes I am having if the temperature in my house dares to creep above 65.  I am also one of those women who get huge during pregnancy.  Not with weight gain (although I gained 80+ pounds with my first child), but my belly just becomes enormous. I have officially stopped driving as of yesterday when I got in my car and my belly was sitting IN the steering wheel. No matter where I go, when someone asks me when I am due, their response to my answer that I am just 32 weeks is “Oh my goodness, HOW many babies are in there”?!

I have a dear friend who always says, “I sucked at being pregnant!”, and honestly that about sums it up for me.  In my experience, pregnancy has been ridiculous, comical, and something I am taking surgical measures to avoid in the future.  And really, if you could see me in a few minutes when I struggle to get up out of this sitting position and waddle to the restroom for the 700^th time today while wearing a ridiculous maternity nightgown and even more ridiculous granny panties…you would see where I am coming from.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t occasionally find myself sneaking into the nursery at night and just sitting in the rocking chair, wondering what in the world this little girl is going to look like.  It doesn’t mean I am not tickled to wash her little clothes and dream about what kind of person she will grow up to be.  It doesn’t mean that I am not thrilled for my daughter, who is so excited about being a big sister, she can’t stand it.

It just means that although I am now grateful for this unexpected blessing…I just wish the man upstairs could have figured out a way to make it happen without involving hemorrhoids, stretch marks, sciatic nerves, and lack of bladder control.

Many Kind Regards,
Erin

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Welcome to the new and improved Many Kind Regards!  This beautiful new design was created by Ruthanne Reid who is simply delightful to work with, and has graciously put up with the flakiness that has ruled my world the past few months.  I highly recommend her for anyone in need of a website makeover!

It has been over a year since any new content has graced the pages of this site, and as I look back on the past year, I am blown away with just how much has happened and changed for our family.  So much in fact that it would bore you to tears for me to re-hash every detail.  Besides, it is no secret that I have a horrible memory, but luckily my trusty iPhone captures all the major moments, and given a visual reminder I can usually muster up a few words here and there.

So, without further ado, here’s what has been happening in our world since the start of 2011!

 

Bianca as the 2011 Military Spouse of the Year

Homecomings are beautiful…for about the first 24 hours.  On a rainy, early morning in May, Joey stepped off that bus, and Morgan literally leapt into her Dad’s arms to welcome him home, almost knocking them both to the ground.  The relief you feel upon welcoming them home is an amazing feeling.  Followed by one of the most trying times of your marriage as you both work to re-discover your marriage and adapt to the changes that take place during deployment.

Adding fuel to the fire, we would also be making a cross country PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move 6 weeks after Joey returned home.  And just because we like a challenge, we decided to add an abdominal hernia surgery in the mix a week after he got home.  Good times.

Shortly after Joey got home we had to put our evil cat, Duna, down after 15 years.  He was a mean little snot, but a constant friend and companion to me since college.  It broke my heart to say good-bye, and I miss him…but I do not miss that litter box.  I think I will remain a dog person from now on.

RIP Duna The Evil Cat

Somehow (despite only being medically released for travel due to complications the day before we left NC), we managed to get everything ready for our move.  Not once did either of us try to strangle the other person, or file for divorce.  We hated to leave Cherry Point, a place we had grown very fond of, and were absolutely heartbroken to leave all of our dear friends.  But, we loaded up the truck with 1 trailer, 1 kid, 2 dogs, a wife who couldn’t drive and loads of excitement for our future in AZ…and we were on our way!

We visited both of our families, stopping in FL, AL and even San Antonio on the way, making it a 3 week road trip.  We were thilled to finally arrive at Ft. Huachuca toward the end of July.  We checked into base housing, and started to explore the new area.  We quickly learned to love the lack of humidity, the view of the mountains, and learning about all of the local “urban wildlife”.

The Javelina is a frequent visitor in our new neighborhood!

Morgan started making friends with a bunch of girls in our neighborhood, and despite being very tired as I recovered from surgery, I was glad when those moving trucks pulled up and delivered our household goods.  We unpacked what we absolutely needed, and piled the rest in the guest room.  Then, surprise, we got the shock of our lives when despite having a 99.5% effective IUD, we discovered we would be needing that guest room to function as a nursery in March!

 

Emma Lucille Whitehead (yes, that is her foot on top of her head!)

 

To say that we were shocked really doesn’t cover it.  To say we were ill-prepared doesn’t cover it.  To say we were terrified and dumbfounded comes close to covering it.

But Morgan was from the first moment beside herself with excitement!  I recently learned that she told friends of ours the only way she would ever get a sibling was if Mom and Dad divorced and re-married.  Yikes.  She of course immediately started wishing for a little sister, and despite Dad’s wishes to the contrary, she got what she wanted…a little sister!

The pregnancy has had it’s challenges, but Mom and Baby are doing well.  We traveled to San Antonio for Thanksgiving to visit my sister and her family, to include brand new baby, Asher! Isn’t he a doll?

Morgan practicing her big sister skills with cousin Asher

Knowing that was the last travel Mom would be able to handle until after delivery, we stayed in AZ for Christmas.  We were so blessed to have Joey home this year!  We had a great time at our “Sing for your Souper” caroling party, and were grateful to have family make the long trek out west to visit with us.

Merry Christmas!

And here we are.  It’s 2012.  We are settled nicely into our new duty station, we have finally emptied all of our boxes and are busy at work on that nursery.  As of today, we have about 55 days until we get to meet Emma, Morgan is finishing her last year of grade-school (how did THAT happen?!), Joey has about 100 seedlings sprouting in his garage greenhouse in preparation of Spring, and I am nesting like a crazy woman.  2012 is going to be a great year filled with many new experiences!  Thanks for allowing me to share all of the craziness, the laughter, and the tears along the way.

USMC Birthday Ball (MARDET) 2011

 

 

Many Kind Regards,

Erin

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It has been 2 years. That just seems unbelievable to me, really. September 10, 2008 was the day that my 5 year old nephew Brendon passed away. I wish that I could, with some kind of authority, say that one day we will all be reunited in heaven…but I would be dishonest to make that statement. Maybe my faith was never that strong to begin with. Maybe I have just thought about it too much…or too little. But for me, Brendon’s struggle with brain cancer shattered most of what I thought I believed in. It changed me in ways I don’t think even the people who are closest to me realize.

If you have known of my family for any length of time, you know about Brendon. He is still very much a part of our lives. My daughter and I talk about him regularly, and most of the time it is because we remember something funny he did, or see one of the million things that make us think of him. Someone once tried to convince me that I was “living in the past” and that I needed to “get over” Brendon because his pictures are still plastered everywhere and we do so much in his memory. They had obviously never been blessed to spend time with him.

He was simply an amazing human being…never mind that he was the cutest bald-headed kid with a chemo port anyone ever saw. There were times when he was sedated for extensive brain /spinal radiation every week day, but still managed to make those around him laugh and smile. He could crack a joke about being able to poop with his doctors, yet at the age of 4 had his selection of adorable girlfriends. He loved dinosaurs, Disney World, Cars, Karate, anything orange, and his little dog Cooper. And of course he was just crazy about the people who were in his life. We were, and still are, helplessly, and madly in love with him.

2 years later, I still notice that I stop breathing when I am alone and pause to look at his picture in the hallway. The cute one (there are so many), where he is standing at his home wearing green pajamas, a cowboy hat, boots, and that huge grin he was known for. There are days (and nights) when I sob and scream because I am so mad. It is not fair. I will never understand it…and frankly, I don’t want to. If there is a reason for a little boy to suffer through a horrible cancer, and die, don’t ever tell me. I don’t care to know.

What I do know is that knowing (and loving) Brendon has shaped my life. (Just in case you were wondering…no, that is not a good enough “reason” for me, so don’t tell me that.) My career aspirations have changed greatly, the things I value in life are different, and I am committed to making sure I can make an impact while I am still here on this earth. I no longer really care if someone thinks my house isn’t clean enough, I am overprotective of my child, or that I am not “moving on” with my life.

I do care about raising my daughter, and trying to enjoy every moment possible. I do my best to care for my husband when he is here, and keep our heads above water when he is not. I care about making sure the charities that helped Brendon…can keep helping other kids. I care about a lot of things, I just process them differently these days.

We miss you Brendon. We hope you are having fun where ever you are, cause kiddo…no one deserves it more than you. And I will continue to love you every day until…well, I want to believe we will all be together again. That’s a wonderful thought…isn’t it Bueller?

Love always,
Aunt Erin

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Alright, because I am starting to get nervous that my lovely readers will turn those bad eggs in their fridge into objects to throw at my house…here we are at Part 3 of the blog series about saving money on your grocery bill! In my defense (a phrase that my 9 year old throws around constantly these days), the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of craziness. If you are following me on facebook or twitter…you already know this. If you are not following me, then…well, get on over there and follow me already!

Okay, so here we are. You have gone to your grocery stores and spent hours looking for all the items you normally use, and jotted down the prices. You have looked in your fridge and pantry, finding all those items that are stashed away, ready to be introduced into a family feast. You have made menu lists…lists of things you need…lists, lists, and more lists. You have cursed me. But you are still here, so let’s get crackalakin and tackle the next (and final) step.

With your price comparison pages in front of you, it’s time to make a list of all the things you need for this payday. Remember…for THIS payday. I usually divide my paper into 2 sections (the 2 stores I frequent), and put the items into the appropriate section as I go along. I also put the price next to the item, which will come in handy when I am shopping. If while at my first store I see something that’s on sale that I would have purchased at store #2, I know if the sale price is cheaper than store #1.

Now that your grocery list is ready…grab your shopping bags and get to work! Here are a few money saving tips for the actual shopping experience:

1. I know you have heard this before…but don’t go to the store hungry. Nothing will sabotage your resolve like a growling stomach when you pass the bakery section and they have just put out fresh donuts.
2. If you see an awesome sale…adjust, overcome and adapt for heaven sakes!!! If you had planned on 2 meals that involve pork but beef is 50% cheaper than usual…change the meal plan in your head, and buy the beef if you like. If the family fusses about the change remind them of one very important rule: “He/she who pushes the grocery buggy…ultimately plans the meals”!
3. Check those reduced bakery, reduced produce, and reduced meat sections. I get great deals…and yes, sometimes that meal you had planned for next week may need to be made tonight…but again, I am pushing that buggy. I have the power.
4. Keep a stash of $15-$20 on hand (or hidden in a “feminine product” in your purse if necessary) for really great deals that pop up. And I mean REALLY great. If you are walking by the chicken when the guy is reducing it to pennies on the dollar…grab it!! I once lucked out and got 13 packages of chicken for under $12. It lasted us for a long time. Only buy it if it is something your family uses and that you can store.
5. Go ahead and clip those coupons. Make sure that again, it’s something your family uses…AND with your handy price list you know if it is really a cheaper price after all. I keep a small envelope in my wallet with a few coupons in it, but an accordion file organizer can be purchased at any Dollar Store and might help keep you organized. Don’t forget to check out the coupons when you enter The Commissary. There are also tons of great couponing resources out there online if you want to learn how to save even more money. I do use a good coupon when I have it…but have found that most of the time I can feed my family cheaper just by using my system.
6. Last but not least. LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND AT HOME! Okay, so maybe this is not necessary in every household…but I am just gonna go out on a limb here and say that I am not the only one who has to say “No honey, we are not getting that this week” or “Put that back please” to a grown man on grocery day. I adore my husband, but he likes to go into the store, grab what he wants/needs and leave. Price checking is not usually his priority. That’s fine sometimes…just not when we are actually trying to save money.

Now you are done so bring all your groceries home, get the kids to help you put them away, add up your totals, and do a little happy dance when you realize how much money you did NOT spend this payday. Sharing the savings with your family? You choose.

Many Kind Regards,
Erin

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Part 2

Okay, so you have successfully made your list and written down prices from all the stores you frequent. You have probably cursed me several times by now, and that’s okay. I can take it. Trust me; now that you have this information at your fingertips, budgeting will be so much easier. The good news is that you don’t have to set foot in those stores again…until grocery shopping day. The next part of your money saving journey will be right in your own kitchen.

You think you know what is in your pantry right? Yes, I used to say the same thing, and then wondered why every time the movers came they were packing up 3 cans of pineapple, some cranberry sauce and cornbread. I am pretty sure I had the same can of cranberry sauce for 5 years. I was hoarding it for some random Thanksgiving dinner where all the guests suddenly got a craving for extra helpings of congealed fruit. Or a hurricane. Because nothing goes better with Vienna sausages and bottled water…than 5 year old cranberry sauce. The point is…we all have hidden items in our pantries. So let’s go find them and figure out a way to get rid of them once and for all!

While you are looking in your pantry, head on over to your freezer as well. With your pencil and paper in hand, look to see what items you have that can be the “meat” of a family dinner. Contrary to popular belief (or the pleading in your husband’s eye), you do not have to serve meat at every meal. So, if you have a bag of black-eyed peas and a big can of tomato soup lurking in your kitchen…write them down. Add a few other ingredients and you have the “meat” of two meals for your family. No one will crumble into a million pieces…and in fact their waist lines and arteries might thank you later. You can make it fun by instituting “Meatless Monday”, or if they really complain, “Suck it up Sunday”.

Alright, so your list has a few items on it. For instance it might read: “Lentils, Pork Tenderloin, large can of Vegetable Soup, and a dozen Eggs”. Good. Now flip to the next page and write on the top “Things We Must Buy”. This list will be much longer and again requires some in home detective work. Open up every single place that you might store food, toiletries, cleaning products, and pet supplies. Look at everything. Open jars if you must. The goal here is to figure out what you really need so that you don’t over buy. I can’t tell you how many times I have forgotten to check on the mayonnaise, thought we must be running low and bought extra. 6 unopened jars later…and well, you get the point. Now remember that can of peaches in the back of the pantry? One less serving of fruit you need to buy this payday…open that sucker up and serve it!!

This step will not only save you money and pantry space, but it will save time at the store. No more calling home to ask the husband (who can’t really locate items anyway) if you need peanut butter. I will warn you; this step may bring up feelings of guilt for many of us. As mothers, parents, nurturers…we feel the need to make sure everyone, has everything they need, for any situation, at all times. Unless you live deep in the prairie where there is no other human life within a 3 hour horse and buggy ride, you no longer have to stock your pantry for an entire winter. Having 2-3 weeks of food available to your family is more than sufficient these days, even if you live on the coast of Louisiana. If a storm is bad enough that no one can get to you or your family for 3 weeks…your house is probably gone…along with all of those stockpiles of canned goods. Stop shopping for Armageddon. I promise it will be okay.

This is also a great time to clean out your refrigerator, throw away anything that should no longer be allowed to reside in there, and even wipe everything down if you are so inclined. There is nothing more aggravating to me on grocery day than coming home with all of my loot, and the fridge is slammed full. Saving money on food means knowing what you have, so that you actually eat it. That’s kinda hard when your icebox looks like a new episode of “Hoarders”. This is also when I always make sure the pantry is organized. Look, the rest of my house can be a disaster…but if the canned goods are on the “snack” shelf…I just can’t sleep.

Okay, now that you know what you have and what you think you need to buy (this list will be revised, don’t worry), it’s time for…yes you guessed it, another list. You can make your list alone, or you can involve your family. This is meal prep time. For a 2 week period of time you probably need 14 dinners planned, unless of course you already know that you will not be dining at home for any reason. I don’t plan lunches, or breakfast on my list, but if your family would like, add those too. This is really an important part of the money saving process, because 1) If the meals are already planned out, your family usually objects less, and 2) You are more likely to stay at home and eat those meals if they are already posted on the fridge.

Here are some tips when making that list:

**One chicken can be made into 3 meals, let me give you an example: First night you roast the chicken and have potatoes/veggies on the side. The next night is chicken enchiladas, and on the final night you boil the rest for a great chicken and rice.

**”My family won’t eat leftovers!” I hear this road block often, and my first reaction always involves said family starving or eating peanut butter on bread, but if you want to be more diplomatic…no one knows that’s chopped up, leftover meatloaf in that spaghetti sauce unless you tell them. Honesty is not always the best policy in a frugal kitchen.

** Institute “Salad Bar Night” at your house once a week. Otherwise known as “pawn off all the leftovers that are not big enough to make a meal, night”, kids love to participate in this one. Take out all of the leftovers and display them across the counter. Add a bowl of salad, dressings and some cut up veggies…viola! Everyone gets to make their own dinner and the leftovers are history!!

And that concludes Part 2 of our money saving adventure. Yes, I am just as tired as you are…this seems like a lot of work!!! But because I have been doing this every 2 weeks for years…it takes me no time at all. I promise if you hang in there, you will see that all these crazy lists and investigative work are worth their weight in…well, really…gold! Gear up, get your lists together and rest your mind for Part 3…we have to do math. I dislike math. But just for you, I am willing…to have my 9 year old do it for me.

Many Kind Regards,
Erin

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Part 1

When I began writing this post I realized that saving money on my grocery bill is a process that has taken me years to learn…and I am still gaining new knowledge all the time. Even I was overwhelmed by the long, rambling post explaining it all, so here’s what we are gonna do. I will break this down into sections so that we can all take things one step at a time. Alright, so if you are ready to start counting all that extra cash that you WON’T be spending at the grocery store….here we go!

The first thing I suggest you do is to make a list of every single thing you buy on a regular basis for your family. This list is not a shopping list, so put items that are currently in your cabinet and fridge. This will be a long list even if you have a small family, but never fear, this project really only needs to be done once. Don’t forget condiments, paper products, cleaning supplies, pet supplies and toiletries. Make sure that there is space beside each item, grab a pencil and your walking shoes…we are going on a field trip ladies!

In our small town, I usually only frequent two places for my groceries. Wal-Mart and the Commissary are my stores, but you may have 3 or 4. Leave space beside every item for a price at every store. (If you are really organized and put-together, you can make a spread sheet…I am not, so just use a notepad.) Now, with your trusty list in hand, visit each of your stores, look for every item and write down the price. Some of you are about to close this page right now as you imagine taking your children to 4 stores for this project, but hang on with me here. This step is daunting at first, but will save you a ton of time later on, I promise. If anyone asks what you are doing, be honest. Tell them you are working on your family food budget and you need to make sure you know who has the best price.

Now that you have the first step completed (the hardest one by far, hence the short post), go take a long shower, put your feet up and start dreaming about what you will do with all your extra dough! I suggest we all take a cruise…no husbands or children allowed. What do y’all think? Come see me tomorrow for Part 2…there are only a few days until payday!!

Many Kind Regards,
Erin

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